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Thursday, January 12, 2017

Nemesia's Tote Bag and Sheer Wrap


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From Previous Post 





I have taken the Nemesia's painting and added to our clothing as tote bag Vensus and sheer wrap Renee .




Mona and Me

It is my sister turn  and let me emphasis younger sister.chance to annoy me . She tells how I don't help her and my life has been better than hers. We both come from the same abusive household. We suffer starvation, utilities turn off for long periods of time, verbal abuse direct to our physical appearance, and the idea our whole existence is to care for our mother who mental illness has never been treated. Yes, maybe I should start telling my version of the past add my own fiction, a little truth, comedy unlike the rest of the relatives I have some areas of laughter  from the past.

The story is entitled Mona and Me. Mona and Me would also explore what could have happen with some events that happen all those years ago. I have been hesitating to write it because I don't want the story to seems like revenge. I want to show I continue to conquer the pain and abuse from childhood and into parts of my adulthood.

I will work on create more names for the story.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Fun Together

My daughter and I had done some wonderful artwork together for the past two weeks. After visiting a Blick Art Supplies, I brought 8x10 canvases and gold acrylic colored paint. And we created some great paintings.

Named Nemesia Celeste started this painting and I finished it with the tree. The background she created  mixed lovely dark paints.

Named Napoleon. It is my dramatic tulip . Celeste want me to add the yellow and it gave such depth.. 

Named Let's Dance is painted all by Celeste. She captured the ballet dancer she saw on a public broadcasting station. I could  not believe such great paint strokes. This one is on paper. I wish it would have been on canvas.


Named Uninterrupted Mind  is a painting I started with bright colors and Celeste told me to add the eyes. This is how I named it.



Update Striving for Good Health



New Year and New Beginnings

The ending of 2016 my family did not drain me during the holidays. The way my sister-in-law can dredge up the past. Then she chose to tell her version of what happen. She tried hard to bait me this year but I kept cool. The only thing threw me for a loop was learning I have Major Depression.
I'm sitting in my psychiatry office and talking about my case. I tell her how I'm trying to deal with my bipolar disorder. She informs me that. she diagnosis me with major depression. That's what I find wrong with me dealing my mental illness. My diagnosis has changed between the doctors I have seen previously.
I was liked I been pro active I got information on what I had and it was old information. I should be looking into Depression as diagnosis. This was the very reason why I decided to get myself educated about my health. So I started in November reading about depression. 
This diagnosis seems close to what I have especially the part about memory loss. I suffer from this now and as child. 


Previous Entry in My Journal
It's been difficult these past few days. The manic depression and PTSD been acting up again. Sometimes I get this burst of energy and I can do five to seven post a day from book reviews  to my novel's posts. Then it's this down period that really kills me. I'm dragging myself around trying to beef myself up and function with some kind of energy. I write about 120 to 220 words a day. I have a so much to write yet my mind has too many ideas for concentration. I can't forced myself to actually do the work. What I don't like I have to push myself so hard all day to get something done. After about eight to ten hours later, I able to do some work that my mind really wants to do. I jot down my ideas down and try to get focus working on a project for an hour..
After being diagnosis with these diseases around 2005. I took the medicine and in a year my medical doctor advise me to stop taking the medicine you're feeling better and I was too young taking it. I did and by 2011 after continuing from bounce from job to job and my mother's illness. I had a severe relapse.
I have learned I need to know about my mental illness. The road to acceptance and dealing with my illness has been difficult. First, I would have to learn about the illnesses and deal with it. Second, find a doctor familiar with mental illness and work closely with my psychiatrist. I have done the second. The first one I attended therapy and took  medication but fail to read about and study these disease until the end of 2016 year.



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